Flowers

As the flowers on my desk strained towards the solitary light
I slipped away, further into the shadows
Taking my tears and confusion away from the world,

But not so far so that I couldn’t pretend to still exist,
just to a place where I could be detached in peace
Away from people who could desert me,

When they decided I was no longer worth their trouble.
I left the light on for the flowers to have,
as a beacon for if I ever decided to return, and check they still lived.

It was all so sudden, so instantly gone.
In one conversation he set himself free.
And the good memories keep flooding back
Bringing with them a new ache for me.

To add to the constant one that sits and stays
Sometimes bringing anger, sometimes tears.
Work holds little of my attention these days
Staring at walls and playing with my hair.

It was all so sudden
When did you change your mind?
The clock timed out before I was ready.
I don’t understand.

I want to ask him to explain what I did
But he only makes small talk, makes more pain.
Meanwhile the papers pile higher around
While I consider whether to include him in my day.

It was all so sudden
When did you change your mind?
The clock timed out before I was ready
I don’t understand.