She looked back over her long meandering life, wondering at the things she did and why she didn't do some things, but the one question that haunted her relentlessly,
Why did people care about someone who had done nothing more than offer them some good conversations and a little hope.

Is that all it took to fall in love?

She hoped so.

And in the end, will I ever have said something of consequence?
Even if not, somehow it doesn't matter.
It helps me, which allows me to help people who can't help themselves.
And that matters to me.

Someone's story

I asked you to bruise your fingertips for me
To write me a song on your morning walk.
Fed up of relying on a dreamcatcher to keep my hopes afloat
I spent my days breathing other people’s smoke.

Our eyes watered under fluorescent lights
as we mourned the lotus flowers eaten by dogs.
Sulphurous matches lit your work by night
As letter by letter you carved our story.

I sent a message by pigeon over the rooftops to tell you
I no longer wanted to see you by the light of the moon.
Wind chimes resounded through the air
The gift you gave to remind me you're there.

A little girl asked me why I laughed
‘because the world is ridiculous.
They lied when they said people get what they deserve.’

I stole a kiss in the alley behind the deserted house
Hours before it was engulfed, kerosene doused.
The entrance to the church said it was going to be alright
Not just written, but illuminated in lights.

He asked me about tomorrow.
I asked him about today.
Then as if to confirm a stranger walked past.
‘Don’t worry' he said, 'it’ll be ok’

Keep breathing.

And do you remember how to breathe?
You’ll need to when you want to scream.
When your fingernails are worn
and your tear ducts ache.

I long to slow dance on old wooden floors
And feel the need to clap when I say I don’t believe in fairies.
I want to be in awe of the magician with his cards
And not understand that people can be cruel.

But instead I drive over tarmac roads
And agree with the logic of unbelieving sceptics.
I know the magician has practised for years
And feel no surprise that atrocities aren't news.

Do you know why I cry?
And why I scratch at the walls?
and soon when you want to scream,
Will you remember how to breathe?

Cold

Dark.
My skin is chilled
Tears like ice on my cheeks.
Eyelids painfully cold against my eyes.
The wind is sharp
My fingers hurt
My ankles are stiff
Strands of hair whip my face.
Wrap my inadequate clothes closer around me.
The sun is no more for today
Black clouds filled with daggers replace it.
So drenched I’m cold.
So cold it hurts.
So hurt I’m tired.
Dark, cold and raining.
Deprived even of my shadow for company, the weather relentlessly attacks.
Even the stars recoil from the earth tonight.
The winter has frozen me between its sliding doors.
Tired and hurt, i gather the strength to walk.
Even my weariness is cold.

Delirious

Cold sweats drenched and violent whispers echoed
While shallow breaths drew the tunnel walls closer.
Fires engraved ideas on retinas
While ever present demons acted out their plans.

Lightening storms evoked the power of fear
And incense floated in the humidity of night.
Passing shadows of shimmering fairies were endured
As panic was brought on by episodes of sanity.

Mirrors talked back and statues walked
Mocking the hallucinatory inertia.
Nightmares and hopes melded into one
As neuron after neuron the lights burnt out.

The last thing heard was the silence of a world
who had nothing to cure a feverish existence.
So left alone in the cover of darkness
Delirium set in.

Defeated

My hair is a mess
My makeup skewed.
Everytime I look in the mirror
All I see is you.

Change straight into my bathrobes
Don’t answer my door.
They got my hints eventually
Milkman leaves the bills outside on the floor.

Shine a light into my eyes
And I’m sure that you will see
Scarred forever on my retina
Is a clear image of how you used to be.

My hands search for yours in empty air
Always reminded, there’s no-one there.
Have got that song stuck on repeat
I’ve given up, they’ve won.
I accept my defeat.