Pulled out into wakefulness
floating at the edge
of slumber's space.


The memories hang, drift round the heart
accompany the day.
Conflating of sensations and truths.


Emotions betray concocted experiences
Colouring the time without permission
New dreams, happenings, memories, tomorrow

Shallow breaths and deep thoughts
For one aching instant
Blur into the time
And I am there, quiet and still
Breathing shallow, thinking deep

Conversations float through my space
Each one leaving a residual trace
Hands reach out from hectic lives
Fingers slip away into the time

And I am there, quiet and still
Breathing shallow, thinking deep

Cold winds wrap loose around my heart
But caring hands soon follow with warmth.
The answers are questions I fear to ask
A quiet mind follows the slippery path.

There will be one moment to find the truth.
One moment to gage the mood.
Time slips away into the night,
as starlight guides my path to the fight

The struggle ahead is known and long.
It begins with a kiss and ends with a song.
Moonlight flickers between wavering trees,
An ancient witness to those that broke free

There will be one moment to find the truth.
one moment the gage the mood.
And time slips away into the night,
as starlight guides my path to the fight.

Tired eyes follow a beckoning smile
Out through the door and into the wild
My bold goodbye follows a hesitant step
Because I know you'll be with me till the end.

Hues

When I was low I used to think of you
And life would seem better, a rosier hue.
Then day by day I had to learn again
That things change, that you can’t be afraid.

Little by little, you closed in on your wish
Convinced of it legitimacy, we went to the brink
Propelled by a haze of jealousy and fear
Disguised by your happiness, of when I was near.

After so much time you still didn’t know
Where I wanted my hopes and dreams to flow.
We parted, but the sorrow was more than that
Because you knew who I should be, but not who I am.

Now my daily world is a little bit greyer
And I continue alone, but you too my dear.
Sometimes I wonder if you’ll ever find your truth
And if you know that life now, has a gloomier hue.

Unaccustomed lungs gasp for unpolluted air
Body weighed down by millennia of tradition.
Precious stones glint under artificial lights.
Each one reflecting a distorted image.

Pampered skin and then her soft brown hands
Intricately decorated by a red-brown paste.
Bathing herself in the air’s humidity
It’s stifling presence clouding her thoughts.

She belongs to neither this world or that
Never quite fitting the available moulds.
Beads of sweat in the small of her back
Duties performed by feet in agony.

A beautiful language flows past her ears
No detail in the conversation’s light and shade.
Hypnotic music kicks up the dust
As a swarm of colours obediently dance.

Heavy clouds linger to release their load
Onto the patient dry earth and dusty leaves.
The same earth she stands on in her other life
Relieved wet grass gives way to the point of her heels.

Her faded hands mark the end of this journey
As an old life beckons her from across the sea.
The ocean so wide, the two lives rarely meet
Leaving her to be an ambassador of both.

When you're teetering on the edge, with concentration you can often regain your balance alone. If someone is there with you, you can reach out to them to steady you. But if you reach out a hand expecting someone to be there, and you are alone, you don't concentrate on balancing by yourself.

And you fall.

Sometimes you offer yourself up to the world.
But it's laughs echo round your heart, all it gives you is it's dirt
Chasing after a desire that drives you on and on.
But it's just a conveyor belt, that everyone else trundles along.

Everyone you've loved has always loved someone else even more.
So you try in vain to let go, to leave your heart on the floor.
You always tell strangers to follow their dreams to their end.
You try and do the same, take help from your friends.

But you know you are strong, can take the rough with the smooth.
So still you pretend and withold knoweledge for them to soothe.
Yet oneday you know the weight will become too much.
And the cracks you hide will widen and you'll be crushed.

Then everyone will see what it means to be you.
That you've been disappearing and no-one knew.
And while looking after yourself has made you strong
You've been fading away and now...

...you're gone.

Snip. The clunk of wood on wood. The mechanism groans into action, slow to react after so long unused. However it was built well, the parts still function. Click, click, click - it's locked. The contents have grown too fragile for public view, the world too unreliable to be trusted. So with a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye, it goes into hiding, protected from the world until it is safe to come back.

Coming home to a dark and sleeping house
Sometimes greeted by a swaying tail
lock up behind you, keep out the cold
tip toe up to your den of technology

Waking up to the voices of strangers
Shuffling their way around your life
turn on the radio for someone to talk to
listening to the woe of other lives

Finding the will to get out of bed
stretch out your body, ready for the day
guess the weather outside before you look
Big toe switches on the computer.

Going to the bathroom to brush your teeth
Stare in the mirror, look for changes
Go downstairs to pick up the mail
There's nothing for you, read the paper

Sitting at the computer to plan the day
connect to the world, check it's still there
msn flashes, fingers jerk in response
faceless chat using yellow pictues.

Filling out forms, think what to write
hard to impress when still in pyjamas.
Rifle through papers that document your life
despair at the mess, add item to tasks

Taking a shower, linger in the heat
brace yourself for the wall of cold
Run errands that your parents asked of you
Work down the list of things to do

Finding a new wind to fill out forms
a dog comes and snuggles by your feet
A second one joins, slumps heavily down
simple needs and simple emotions

Looking at the clock, haven't yet eaten
tempted to leave it, lose more weight
Remember need food to keep nice skin
rumage kitchen for something you want

Surfing the net, you pass the afternoon
try and plan the rest of your life
Scary to have a new way of thinking
wonder if ends justify the means

Racing downstairs, paws slide on the floor
Keys chink as they join the rest by the door
Expensive shoes clunk on the laminate wood
go sit on the stairs, join in the greetings

Asking about their day, 10 minute chat
talk about dinner, look at the time
get ready for work, dinner on the table
Gulp food down, say bye to the parents

Going to sit in the car, too rushed to think
have to wait a minute for the windows to clear
Arrive at work, look happy for the customers
Come home to a dark and sleeping house.

There were times when you thought
You were finally comfortable with life
With who you are and the way you look
and you no longer had to pretend to be content.

Then something flicks a switch inside
And it’s hard to look your friends in the eye
In case they see that something has changed
And they don’t understand the way you work

Momentarily all you want in this hectic world
Is for just one of the six billion to stop and see
To hold you and tell you it will be ok
So you can summon strength to do this alone.

You know everyone has their tracks to follow
That cross and swerve through the rivers of time
So you swim along, building your track too
Hoping you don’t run out of steel.

Closer

I saw you from afar
Heart fell into my stomach
As I flew along the ground
Closer and closer to you

With a smile on your face
You slid towards me too
Your heart and stomach in place
Closer and closer we became

From the corner of their world
People watched with curious eyes
The meeting of two souls
That could not help but connect

But when our skin met
You felt something else
Inner mind focused on another
While our bond melded deeper in

Connected to you, I pulled away
Stretching at bonds so quickly made
But you resisted, I decided to stay
Alone here, while you dream of others.

A Way Through

Fresh air blows through her hair
In the centre of a whirlwind of time
The gods have been playing their game
Brushing his words past her ear

Storing his secrets behind those eyes
So many times she’s tried to find
A way through the words
A door through the time

His travels have been dark
But he’s kept his spirit safely away
The gods have been playing their game
Taunting his senses with her tears

Storing his secrets behind those eyes
So many times he’s tried to find
A way through the words
A door through the time

Fingers entwine as secrets escape
Their tender minds released at last
The gods have been playing their game
Creating a way through the words

I dreamt of your love and the sorrow it caused
When you dangled it in front of me
Like a kitten with a ball of string
Jerking it just out of reach
Taunting me with what could have been
With the chance to step into that otherworld
Of happiness and caring

I wanted someone to dance with on a quiet Tuesday night
To look at with my tired eyes and not feel inadequate
Who would make me feel good and I could reciprocate.
All is through that glass door,
Through the glass door I cannot shatter,
The way you shattered my heart.

It was like focusing on a moving car along a road. Your vision becomes a mass of blurred lines, except for the bit you focus on, that car. In that last year, you had been that car, the thing I could focus on - my reference point.

Events just seem like details in a blur
and you collect your tears in a jar for your friends.
You're tired of your dreams and of hearing the truth
closing your eyes to a velvet black
and opening them to a created reality.

Sometimes you can't dig your nails in deep enough
Sorrow and solitude come your way, hand in hand
Offering you their tears to drown in.
A familiar but dangerous friendship